Wednesday, February 10, 2010

"Still Waiting!"

I went back to the doctor today for another ultrasound and the amniotic sac was empty. My doctor came in to talk with James & I and hugged me and said, "It doesn't look good." My doctor said he's expecting that this isn't a viable pregnancy, but isn't willing to give up on the pregnancy until he's 100% sure. He wants to give my body time to release the pregnancy on its own before doing anything. I had blood work done to check my hcg levels to see if they're decreasing. I have another ultrasound scheduled for next Wed. It's a weird position to be in knowing that I'm pregnant but there isn't a baby there anymore and I'm just waiting for my body to release the pregnancy. The crazy thing is that a few weeks ago, I was cleaning out our desk and came across the 1st ultrasound picture and started worrying about the amniotic sac being empty. I can't help but wonder if that was the Holy Spirit preparing me for what was to come.

I know that miscarriages are God's way of taking care of an unhealthy pregnancy, but that doesn't make it any easier. I know that God is in control and knows the plan for my family. James & I are so thankful for the little miracle we have in Abigail! Abigail is such a gift from God. While James & I would like more children, we've also said that we would be content if Abigail was our only child. Every baby conceived is a little miracle from God. I started praying last week for God to take this pregnancy if it wasn't healthy, so I am at peace knowing this is all part of God's plan.
I'm going to give my body sometime to release the pregnancy, but will schedule a d&c when my doctor can say for sure that this isn't a viable pregnancy.

9 comments:

Mike and Jess Richey said...

Oh Ashley, your faith is Christ is such a great example. Thank you for so openly sharing what you and James are going through. You have been on my heart this week and I will continue to pray. I know that your heart must be breaking.

.:{grace}:. said...

I'm so saddened to hear this, I know that God has a plan for us all. I love how you praise God in this time. Your faith is unwavering. Much love to you and James.

ChrissyK said...

Oh Ashley,
I am so sorry to hear this. If you need someone to lean on or just someone to vent to... I can listen. There is a beautiful song out there by Watermark called Glory Baby. Christie Nockels wrote it about her miscarriages. Yes, she has had many and knows exactly how you are feeling and I think she probably would portray what you may be feeling in her song. I stumbled upon it when I was looking for a song to comfort my sister in law. Anyways, if music ministers to you like it does to me, I hope this song will encourage you.

Lacey said...

Praying for you Ashley. If you want to talk to someone who has been through it and knows how you are feeling call me. Hug that sweet baby girl that you do have and know your being thought of and prayed for.
Love you!!

Dawn said...

I am so sorry Ashley. My sister's, Jeanine, first pregnancy was the same situation, but later she got pregnant again and now has Skylar. I am so glad that God has given you peace and comfort during this time. Love ya girl!

Robert and Amber said...

I'm so sorry to hear this news, Ashley! Hold on tightly to God's comfort & peace. Robert and I are hoping for the best for you and James!

Emily said...

Your faith is so encouraging! Thank you for opening up and sharing that. We will continue to pray for y'all and the precious little life.

andie said...

Ashley, I am praying that God holds you tight through this. I am so inspired by your faith and I know God is using you to touch many. May you feel HIS touch and his strength during this time.
love you and praying for you and your family!
Peace be with you.
andie

Imee Elizabeth said...

I'm so out of the loop and am now just finding out. My heart breaks for you.