I have been wanting to sit down and blog for a while, but haven't found the time. It's been a difficult time for me over the last month or so. I have been really grieving over this last miscarriage. Just when I think I'm doing okay and getting over it, I'm overcome with emotions. A few weeks ago at church, I was overcome with emotion and my sweet husband asked me what was going on with me when we got in the car. I couldn't even really put my feelings into words. I have to tell myself that it's okay to grieve and that grief is a process. I have lost loved ones to death, but I've never had this amount of grief before. I had a very hard time the weeks immediately following the miscarriage. I felt like I was being suffocated and it was difficult for me to function and move forward. The first miscarriage drug on so long physically, that when the physical part was over, I was emotionally ready for it to be over. This last miscarriage came out of no where and we had heard the baby's heartbeat so we didn't think we needed to worry anymore. This miscarriage was physically over with so quickly that I've been having to catch up emotionally. It's hard to think about the fact that if I was still pregnant from the first pregnancy, I'd be having a baby in a little over a month from now. I am surrounded by pregnant women & and am learning every day of someone else who is pregnant. I came to a breaking point where I realized I didn't want to become bitter & angry or resentful for not being blessed with another baby. Instead I got on my knees and got real with myself and with God.
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Friday, July 16, 2010
Yesterday, I took Abigail for her 3 year well child visit. Abigail weighs 27 lbs, which puts her in the 25% for weight. She's 35" tall, which puts her in the 10% for height. Abigail is growing, but she's still a little peanut! The Dr. is very impressed with Abigail and how far she's come since she was born so prematurely. Abigail had to get one shot & she didn't even cry! What a big girl! I explained to her that she was going to get a shot, but it would just be a little stick and then it would be over. I'm so proud of my little girl!
Posted by ashley at 1:40 PM
Thursday, July 08, 2010
I was going to take Abigail to see the 4th of July parade this year, but didn't want to get out in the muggy weather. It had been raining so much that the ground was still wet. Maybe we'll see the parade next year. We spent the morning of 4th of July serving in the nursery at church. We met a new couple at the church, which is always fun. Then, we had lunch with friends from our community group. After nap time, it was time to head over to Towne Green to set up to watch the fireworks. I made the mistake of thinking we could just buy food there. The lines were long & it was expensive. Note to self: eat before we go or bring a picnic dinner next time! The kids had fun rolling down the hill on the lawn where we were sitting. The kids started to get a little bored waiting for the fireworks. The fireworks didn't start until 9:30 pm! Abigail was so excited all day about seeing the "sireworks," but when the fireworks started, she was so scared of them. She was asking us to turn them off. James ended up walking further away with her, so it wasn't so loud for her. He bumped into some more friends of ours, so that was fun. We had a good time despite Abigail being scared of the fireworks! It wasn't blazing hot outside either, which was nice. However, I just kept thinking we should have cooked outside because 4th of July just makes me think of bar-b-ques! There's always next year right?
Posted by ashley at 7:14 PM