Last Sunday, my Dr. told my husband that it was time for me to start resting. Dr. Rawson wants me "horizontal" as much as possible as a precaution to prevent preeclampsia. This news came the day after getting out of the hospital for the second time for iv hydration due to a stomach bug. I have been monitoring my blood pressure at home & it has been good, so I didn't think I was going to have to do bed rest although my Dr. has been preparing me for the possibility all along. When James told me that Dr. Rawson wants me on bed rest now, I immediately started crying & freaking out about how this bed rest was going to work. I am an independent person who likes to be on the go & be in control of the situation. I felt like everything was being ripped out from under me. I know that's an exaggeration, but I was struggling with letting go of being able to take care of my family. I spent the rest of the day stressing out about it.
Sunday, February 27, 2011
On Monday, I went with my Mom to take Abigail to school to show her where to go & to introduce her to Abigail's teacher. When I explained to Abigail's teacher that I would no longer be dropping off Abigail & picking her up because I was put on bed rest, I started crying. I regained my composure only long enough to drop my Mom back off. Then, I came back home where I'd be spending my days from now on & cried my eyes out. I am so thankful that my parents live close by & that my Mom is able to help out with Abigail. My Mom has been shuttling Abigail around & running errands for me. She's also been helping with grocery shopping & making sure we have food for dinner. Monday night after dinner, James started getting sick. It was obvious that he had the stomach bug because he couldn't keep anything down. It was difficult not to help my husband when he needed me, but I couldn't afford to get sick again & I was supposed to be resting. So, I took him ice chips & gaterade & checked on him just to make sure he was okay. I slept in the playroom to keep my distance from all the germs. James stayed home from work on Tuesday because he was still feeling sick. James had to clean & sanitize the bathroom himself since I couldn't help. Although, I hate that James got sick, he does appreciate now how hard it is to clean when you're sick.
I went to the Dr. on Thurs. & everything is going well. My blood pressure is good & I still haven't gained any weight. I'm actually still down 6 lbs. from the beginning when I was so sick. I went into the Dr wanting to ask him what I can/can not do & what his expectations are of me. Again, he stated he wants me laying down or reclining as much as possible. My Dr. stated he was hesitant to say, but that "I was a more normal patient than he was giving me credit for." However, we all remember how scary it was when Abigail was born so early. I literally developed severe preeclampsia overnight. Dr. Rawson remembers pulling Abigail out & her being blue and close to death, he doesn't want that to happen again. So, as a precaution & to prevent my blood pressure from getting high, he wants me on bed rest. The selfish part of me is still having a hard time listening to Dr's orders, but I want a healthy baby.
So, my first week on bed rest was a little crazy due to James getting sick. I have had a few melt downs struggling with being stir crazy, bored, lonely, hormonal, & not being able to do things myself the way I like to do them. I'm OCD about some things & I'm having to learn to let things go. I have my own way of doing dishes, unloading & loading the dishwasher, folding clothes, picking up toys, etc., to me it makes perfect sense & yes I'm picky about it. However, I'm having to learn to accept help from others & let them do it their way. My poor husband has been very patient with me this week.
I am 28 weeks pregnant today! I have officially carried this baby longer than I did Abigail. I am so thankful for each day I continue to carry Jacob inside my womb where he is safe & can continue to grow strong & healthy. I know that he looks like a perfect little baby boy, but he still has some developing to do & he needs to put some fat on those little bones. He is measuring 2 lbs. 8 oz. at this point, which is bigger than Abigail was when she was born. As long as I continue to do well & my blood pressure doesn't get high, then I'll be able to get off bed rest at 34 weeks. My Dr. just wants to be sure we get through this critical time period. I know that although being on bed rest is difficult for me, I'm doing this for my son & that makes it totally worth every minute even if it's only a precaution. I pray that I allow God to use this opportunity to grow & mature in me the weaknesses that are being exposed. I need to learn to ask for help & accept help from others. I have been blessed with an amazing husband, family, & numerous friends who have been praying for me & asking how they can help.